Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
