I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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