you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
