Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
