tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
