how can u be prego again
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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