I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just cropdusted the office
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
