Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dignity is for republicans.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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