At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
