tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
