Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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