FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
