You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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