make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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