Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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