You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize