No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
