i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
