How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
