Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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