kristin has been a bad kristin
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I party with great urgency now.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
