He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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