I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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