Are we in a gay sports bar?
Nicole vs. Life
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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