If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You made out with two different species that night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
