So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
These tits shall not be calmed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
