saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well you can't waste a boner
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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