im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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