Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't deserve a penis
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
