Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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