He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
