i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
