I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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