Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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