Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
