This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
