What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
