Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
