I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
