Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
