Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
