the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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