what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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