he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
