kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
