I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
