there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
