Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think we might need a safe word for this...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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