A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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