I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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