I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
