I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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