YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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