I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
