I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am naked and annoyed.
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