There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I smell stomach acid.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
