you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
