You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My balls are so social today.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize