Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
