I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
