Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
