I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
