like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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