that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My pussy is not your playground.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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