He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
