It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize