I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
