Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
