I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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