Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
