This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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