i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
