I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
