And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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