You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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